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November 29, 2005 [ More archived home pages here ]

Holiday Blues

Today's song is, Solitude, sung by Billie Holiday.

This is the time of year when some people get really depressed. Those people while cheerful most of the rest of the year, have a tough time during the holiday season.

Many of the people in that group experience loneliness. They are missing companionship and in need of a lot of compassion.

Maybe they recently lost someone they loved very deeply. The reasons why could be many, too many to list here.

During the holiday season of 1972 I had an opportunity to be in that condition. It was a time of transition for me back then. At the time I was living in Santa Barbara, California. The weather was so much better than the cold wintry conditions of my midwestern birthplace where I recently migrated from in the middle of that November. The change in location and weather didn't help much. It was the only time in my life when I lived alone and I didn't like it.

It was an important lesson for me to learn. When I saw other couples together, the lesson was reinforced over and over again. I previously had relationships through some of the prior holiday seasons so I knew what I was missing. On the other hand, I had learned from those previous relationships what is really important for a couple and it's more than just being together for that sake only, much more. Still, I didn't know enough to choose more wisely, that opportunity would arrive in the coming Spring of 1973.

With envy, I watched lovers walk hand-in-hand down the streets and coastline of Santa Barbara. Every time, I told myself that one day it would be different for me. I thought I would find a California woman to complete my life. But first I had to complete my own life and that wasn't to be in accomplished while living on my own. That realization was the first step towards success and satisfaction and each subsequent step that winter season brought me back home to the midwest.

I married my wife in April 1973. She is from Chicago as I am. We were young then and we have grown older together all these 32 years. We are there for each other, we are never alone since we became one through the bonds of marriage. When we moved here to San Diego almost ten years ago, she arrived here a few days before I did. She has been a California woman for a couple days longer than I and she stills completes my life.

When we see others who are feeling alone we should try to send them a smile, acknowledge their existence and let them know they are appreciated, perhaps loved. If you can, give them some of your time and make them feel wanted. They may be in the middle of a journey and need some directions or just reassurance that they are on the right path. This is a season to extend ourselves to others in need. Give your share with a smile.

Don


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